From Ecuador Pictures

From Ecuador Pictures

From Ecuador Pictures

A couple of photos that help to describe the past six weeks of my life. What an amazing time, not only in the fact that I was able to experience so much, but also for the fact that I was able to experience so much as a person. Seeing how the people of Ecuador live and being able to put myself in situations that are difficult has grown me into some one that is much more confident of who I am...by no means have I reached the final point of the journey, but it is so freeing to see that God has begun a change in my heart and in the walls that I have put in my life. So cool!

When He said I was free, He ment I was FREE

Here's a thought that I had the other day. Verses first, then the thought...

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

1 Corinthians 6: 19-20

For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.

1 Corinthians 7: 22-23

Both passages were pulled from the NIV. The significance of these two passages has to do with the idea of a ransom. Now, obviously a ransom is a sum a money to pay for the freedom of someone. Let that sink a little bit, a ransom is a sum a money to pay for the freedom of someone. I got to thinking about what God did for us, what Jesus did for us. Jesus paid our ransom! Maybe this seems significant for me in the fact that so many times I choose to live in captivity, I choose to stay with Satan, my kidnapper, rather than running home to my Father.

This idea is profound for me in the thought that with all the areas in my life that I struggle with, there is a simple fact that I do not have to live in bondage to the sin that afflicts me, the price of that sin has been already paid for. It seems that somehow the dillusion of the time that I have spent in captivity has somehow over powered the truth that I am already free, that I can walk away from being consumed by the struggle and begin my walk home to the Father. Incredible!

There we go...my brainstorm for the week.

The Battle and the Death

This weekend was spent in Clearwater at their inaugural 'Great Canadian Music Explosion', not a bad idea, but given that it was the first it made for some rather slow moments. I don't think that I have ever sat as much as I did this weekend.

What this weekend did allow for was some quality time reading John Eldridge's Wild at Heart for the second time. It was a good opportunity to reevaluate my progress and pick up some more 'nuggets' (really good definition of nuggets here) regarding the battle over my own struggles and such. There were a couple of things that really stood out for me. The first was a simple line in the book, and yet has such a huge implication in the deeper meaning... 'every man is a warrior inside. But the choice to fight is his own'. I think that this struck me so much in the fact that I so often choose not to battle the struggles that I have. I choose not to 'step up to the plate' on so many occasions, and have settled for comfortability rather than delighting in the struggle of a situation to fully develop my faith. Through this line and some of the other points made in the book, I began to think of Band of Brothers a book by Steve Ambrose and made into a HBO series by Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks. The part that stood out from this movie is a seasoned veteran telling a new recruit to come to terms with the fact that in essence, he is already dead, to get over the fear and accept the reality of the situation. This small portion of the movie had such a significant impact on my thoughts. Think about it... in essence we are the walking dead. We have eternal life through the salvation of Jesus Christ, we will continue on long after the flesh passes away! Why then should we fear the world's condemnation? Why should we fear the battles and the struggles that God allows to come before us? To gain life, should we not be willing to lose it? A thought:

You're already dead; accept it, then seek a life lived in a spirit of furious indifference to it; you must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine (Wild at Heart with some personal additions)

Courage, and the willingness to choose to fight the battles that will ultimately shape us into stronger men, comes from being willing to die. To put your life, your reputation, your comforts on the line! To allow GOD to fill every part of your being and to submit to his most awesome plan!

A final verse of encouragement:

Since Jesus went through everything that you're going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you will be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want. (1 Peter 4:1-2 The Message //Remix)

BOLDNESS in Christ

And the special gift of ministry you received when I laid hands on you and prayed - keep that ablaze! God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.
So don't be embarrassed to speak up for our master or for me, his prisoner. Take your share of suffering for the Message along with the rest of us.

02 Timothy 1 :6-8 (The Message)

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life, —not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.

02 Timothy 1:6-9a (NIV)

So, this passage spoke to me last night. Particularly the part about being BOLD and that we have not been given a spirit of timidity, but of boldness. What an amazing statement. God is calling us to be bold, to stand and speak the truth. So often I find it easy, comfortable, safe, to not boldly stand for what I believe, to not boldly stand for the ultimate truth. So often I am worried about upsetting someone or offending them that I slink away and not outwardly tell them what God wants them to hear.

And here's my revelation. We are called to be God's messengers. The vessels in which the Word of God is spread. I don't think messengers are allowed to be timid. Think of medieval times where the king would send a mesage to an opposing force. That message has to be delivered. The declaration of war has to be delivered to the opposing force for them to know that this is their last chance before being utterly annihilated. This messenger must covey the message at all costs. I wonder are we, am I, truely committed to being that messenger? Are we willing to convey God's message no matter the consequence? I know that this is something that speaks closely to my heart. Am I willing to convey the message no matter the cost? Hmm...food for thought.

Decisions...

I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 16:8-11 (TNIV)

This was an interesting passage to read, largely because of the part in bold. You make known to me the path of life. Interesting to think of, God does make known to us the path of life that we need to be taking. The question is, are we (a) listening and (b) willing to walk the path that God is telling us. I know that this is something that I certainly struggle with. Greatly because it requires ME to make the initial step, to step out in faith that this is the path that God wants me to take. Certainly not easy. My biggest struggle is with stepping out and making the decision to follow the path that is before me. I have been so conditioned to allow others to make the decisions for me. Sure I have made decisions for myself. But in many ways these seem like pseudodecisions. Now obviously not all decisions fall under the 'pseudodecision' category...choosing to follow Christ is definitely NOT a pseudodecision. But many others have been. Take for example my choice to attend (and graduate) university. Did I really have much of a choice in the matter? Not really with both societal pressure and parental pressures to attend.

The times that I have made a decision have always seemed to be followed with a deluge of doubt, fears and uncertainty as to whether it was the right decision...whether it was what God truely wanted me to do. And often I have no clue as to whether the decision is what God would have wanted me to make. At the end of the day I guess that I have to trust that the path that I am following does have an ultimate purpose in the grand painting that God has begun in me. Still doesn't make it any easier.

Am I willing to listen? Am I willing to put into practice that in which I've heard? I'd like to say confidently 'yes' to each of these questions, but the reality of it is, often I may not say yes, or I may drag my feet ressiting the will to say yes to God and no to my own personal ambitions and desires. I understand that my ambitions, my desires are important but I have a hard time recognising that the desires and ambitions that God has in store for me far outweigh anything that I could ever dream of. What I think is amazing now, will be so much more amazing in the future if I could just allow God to do his will. Ack! Throw away my brain, I'd do so much better!

The World's Fastest Indian

Ok, what a cool movie. 'The World's Fastest Indian'. I had heard some good things about this movie, but had never had the opportunity to see it. Well I'm glad that I have. So yes, at times it was a little cheesy, but put speed and motorcycles together...what guy can resist?

Spiritual ADD

I have a disease, I suffer from spiritual ADD. Now I don't literally have a disease, nor do I suffer from any sort of ADD, but none-the-less I feel that many times that my spiritual focus take on the characteristics of ADD. Simply put, its frustrating! My heart wants to do all things right, wants to desperately pursue God, listen, be obedient and yet I have the hardest time keeping focused on the goal. There are so many thing that are distracting. So many GOOD things that are distracting.

I think that the 'medicine' for this is simply prayer, meditation, seeking God...and yet this is probably the most difficult thing. Its allowing/requiring myself to be disciplined enough to do all of this. Ahh! So bloody frustrating!

I think many times I allow my situations to dictate where I sit spiritually, and I don't often allow God to dictate where I should be spiritually. In many ways, it seems incredibly weak. And I know that this is certainly something that needs to be addressed, needs to be improved on, otherwise I think that there will be so much unnecessary strife.

In the words of Brenton Brown..."my strength will rise as I wait upon the Lord" I hate waiting...but I know that this is the only option if I do truely desire to become more like Christ.

My missing letter to the editor

Ah, if only the Vernon Morning Star would print my letter. Needless to say, I think Vernon has some work on their hands.

Recent BC Statistics data shows Vernon at an annual growth rate of 1.2% compare this to Vancouver proper (0.95%) and it is clear that the Okanagan is BC’s growth hot spot. Within this strong growth of Vernon, decision-makers have become a little development happy; and why not? Every lot sold, or developed increases the tax base of Vernon, and there is little cost to Vernon. Or is there? I don’t think I’m alone in saying that the development in Vernon is getting a little out of hand.

Recently, I talked to a technician from a local engineering firm, who grimly told me that the consumption of water in Vernon has exceeded water consumption projection by ten years, in other words we are consuming water at a rate that was projected to be consumed by 2016! So not only are we developing at a fevered pace, but we are also consuming water at an alarming rate. This inability to maintain a sustained urban growth means that there will be increased water-related issues in the future. Brown grass and boil water advisories will be the least of our concerns.

Beyond this humanistic viewpoint there is much more to be concerned about with the uncontrolled growth of Vernon. A quick search through the BC Conservation Data Centre listed 350 red or blue listed species or flora and fauna within the Bunchgrass, Ponderosa Pine, and Interior Douglas-Fir Biogeoclimatic Ecosystem Classification zones; all of which occur in the Vernon area. 66 of these 350 were listed by the Committee on the Status of Endangered Wildlife in Canada (COSEWIC – federal listing) as endangered, threatened, of special concern, or extinct. If a quick search brings up this many hits for species of concern, should we not be concerned? 350 species is something to be concerned about!

According to the consolidated version of Vernon’s Official Community Plan “Every effort shall be made to maintain in a largely natural state, those areas indicated as having environmental sensitivity…” (Plan Vernon s. F1). Sounds nice, perfectly written to make someone feel all warm and fuzzy, but is this really practically being applied? Is every effort being made to maintain a natural state of the environment? Is the fragmentation of habitat and land conversion maintaining a natural state? I think not. A look towards the horizon clearly demonstrates that due diligence is not being maintained.

Inevitably all of this development and lack of concern for the local environment will lead to the loss of many of the characteristics that have defined Vernon as such an amazing city to live in. Lets all think back to why we live in the Okanagan; the pristine lakes, the opportunity for outdoor recreation, the stunning views, and the diverse ecology. Let’s not be complacent when it comes to the integrity of our ecosystems and the services that it provides!

My momma was a rat

Well, this is a new thought. According to my prof for Conservation Policy, we have all decended from the rat. Yes, you read me right, all mammalian life owes it's existance to a derivative of the rat. What a load of crap. How much are people willing to devalue their own existance and worth in the search of "truth"? I mean, comparing us to monkeys is one thing, but a rat? It's funny how far people will go to try and explain why they are here, what evolutional forces were in place to create what they are. Sometimes I wonder how people can reject God, and the idea that we are created and replace it with an idea that we evolved from much lesser animals. It's strange how people cannot comprehend the idea of creation, and yet willingly accept the premises of a theory? A theory that cannot untimately be falsified? It is thoughts like our apparent relation to rats that not only make me question evolution theory, but strengthens my resolve in the belief that God created the world. Could God have created thing to keep us occupied? Maybe. Perhaps some of the unanswered questions, and the desire to learn more is a gift that God has given us to worship him through learning about his creation. All I can say is that I an confident that I am not a distant relative of the rat.

The dulldrums of School

It is that time of year again. The end of March and April always seem to be the most difficult months for me as a student. I think that this mostly has to do wth the fact that it is lighter out for a longer period of time and much sunnier. I mean, the last two days in Vancouver have been without a doubt amazing. The sad thing is, I have been forced to spend my time inside because of a term paper that is due in a couple of days. Now this isn't one that should be overly diffcult. Six pages really is nothing when in comes to the realm of paper writing. What makes is difficult is the simple fact that I would much rather be outside than parked infront of my computer. I really don't think that I can complain too much though, but the desire is definately there.

Life has been really quite lately, almost to the point that there isn't all that much to describe, which is sad. Not that I am trying to be a thrill seeker, but I would love to have something of importance to speak of. I suppose though, I should relish this "lull" in the excitement. Not only for the fact that my life is soon to become rather interesting in the simple fact that what I have been accustomed to for the past six years is now coming to a close (yikes) but also for the fact that it provides an excellent opportunity to develop my relationship with God. It's much easier to devote time to God when there is ample amounts of it and no distractions to pull you away. Perhaps instead of complaining about the notion that I have very little as "excitement" currently in my life, that I should turn to God and development experiences in that which will not only be exciting, but also life developing.

CIF Ring Ceremony

It's official...I'm one step closer to being a UBC Forestry graduate/alumni. Exciting to say the least. I had my CIF silver ring ceremony on Saturday. Seems like a small thing, but it is super cool to think that this is an indication that I am almost done my career as a student and close to being a "working stiff". Anyways, there it is, my beautiful silver ring. Now I just have to get used to the idea of wearing a ring. Hmm, maybe this is good practice if I ever have to have a ring on the finger to the right of the pinky. Maybe I'll be more accustomed to the idea!

The Fight of Your Life

I think it's funny that whenever you have a close encounter with God, when things are beginning to click, that satan tries his hardest to take that away from you. Just last night my bible study made what I percieved as some breakthroughs in the fight against sexual immorality and temptation. Something that, for me is a fight and for many other guys is a battle as well. Super cool that we made such big gains in sharing in our fights and yet, satan tries everything he c an to take that away from me. Last night was probably one of the worst nights of sleep that I have had in a long time, add that with a throbbing headache and you get an idea of how I was physically feeling. The cool thing is, that what satan tries to derail me with sickness and headaches, he can't. All throughout last night evey moment that I felt afflicted I prayed...and denounced the "authority" the satan thinks that he has over me. The truth is, only Jesus has authority over me. It was very cool to take that truth and apply it last night. God is awesome.

In other things, 4 days until my ring ceremony. One step closer to being a UBC forestry graduate!

God's Promise

For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13

Ok, so I am not always one who pulls something out of my readings, or at least has something that strikes me so deeply. But, I have to admit that this like in Isaiah was kinda like an "Eureka!" for me. There are so many things in this life that I struggle with. Lately it has been with the motivation for school and temptation. Much of the time it feels like I'm bashing my head against a brick wall and not getting anywhere in the battle that I am engaged in. The thing is, that much of the battle has been about me going solo, that I can conquer my struggles by myself. How flawed is that? Perhaps this is why the verse in Isaiah hit me so strongly, God will help me, God will take me by the hand and lead me through all of the struggles that I have. I think that it's high time that I stop being so independent of God and allow for a little more guidancee. I'm definately finding that I can't beat the struggles that I have by myself. Somewhat of a obvious statement, but I think sometimes that we need to be reminded of the obvious.

World Chaos

The current events in Europe have inspired me to write. I find it interesting that the Muslims in Europe have reacted so strongly to the depiction of Mohommad. I understand that there is a strong tie with that religious figure, but does it truely require a violent reaction? I realize that this isn't characteristic of all those who are Muslim, or who practice islam; however, they're not doing a great job on the PR aspect. Look towards all of the events in the last number of years. We have Iraq, which whether or not you beleive in the war (or occupation of), the true war is simply muslims attacting muslims. I would love to say that all of the resistance in Iraq is solely because of the occupation by the US; however, it is easily percieved that it is more of denominational infighting, with casulties on both sides of the fence. More PR blunders, Osama Bin Laden, the twin towers, and now the reaction over some editorial cartoons. By no means am I trying to justify the publishing of these cartoons, but to react so violently? Hmm, I think it does the religion more damage than good. "Don't offend us, we'll riot and burn down your house." I've tried to place this into persective with my own reaction to a depection of Jesus Christ. In fact, I can think of a report of Will & Grace where they have shot a episode that features Brittney Spears as an overly conservative "christian" talk show host for "Cruci-fixins'", both are rather offensive, one it Brittney Spears (don't we all wish she would fall of the face of the earth) and a mockery of Christians (note also, the episode is supposed to be airred the day before easter, a rather important religious day for Christians). How do I think that I would react? Well, certainly not going to the production studio and burning down the place. I just don't think that Christians would react so strongly (or more specifically, violently) to that event. Yes, protest, write letters, make our concerns known, but to rally and riot? Seems a little too fanatical.

Looking to the Great Beyond

It's amazing to think that in three short months, by life as an undergrad will be officially over. Six years and three different school to obtain one degree. Exciting. It's exciting on any different parts. The obvious being that I will no longer have to think about exams, pointless projects, and idea of paying to work as opposed to getting paid to work. The not so obvious, and somewhat frightening part is the fact that what I have been accustomed to for the last six years is now officially over. Now I am completely on my own, my life is fully in front of me. The satisfying thing is knowing that I have God leading me on, so no matter what direction that I will go in the next little while, I know that there will be some devine directive for me to follow. It's exciting to think that in 8 months I could very well be backpacking across Europe, Nepal, or volunteering for some conservation group over seas. It exciting to think what the future will hold. On the same though too it is frightening, specifically with Carleigh. I have been so utterly blessed to have her in my life and will be a new chapter to be apart for a great part of the year. Me galivanting somewhere overseas and her at UBC and Sweden. Thankfully I know that whatever happens will happen according to God's will.

Now, while I am thinking about all of the things that could occur in the future, I thinkI had better make sure that I stay in the current and get to some of the assignments that I have. Otherwise there will be no graduation to speak of!

Do you have the courage to let go?

Do you ever wonder if you have the courage to put you life on the line for a cause? Blame it on John Eldredge's book Wild at Heart but I have been on this war mind set for the last couple of days. So far this has translated into two movies on TV (of which I never did find out the titles) and purchasing U-571 and Enemy at the Gates. What get's me is the overwhelming response to go all out for the cause, even if that means that your likely going to die. Now, I realize that most of these are romaticised Hollywood renditions and likely men battled to fear that they had in times of war, and perhaps didn't always act couragously; however, I think that there is a great analogy in it all.

Spiritually, I would love to say that I am couragous and that I stand up for all good but in reality, do I? A line from U-571 goes something like this, to be a true leader, to be a captain, you have to be able to make decisions without a pause for thought and you must be willing to sacrifice the live of the men that are under your command to fulfill the greater good. The thing that I feel with this is, are we willing to sacrifice the things in our lives that we love and care about for the greater good? For God's greater purpose? I struggle with this thought in the sense that, there are many things that I and not sure that I would easily sacrifice, but would I be willing? I would hope so. I believe that God is training us to be captains in his army, He's building us up as men to lead those that fight beside us. The question is, are we willing to sacrifice the comfortabilities in our lives, the loves in our lives, to obtain the greater goal?

back to the grind

Homework already. I don't think that I am ready for this. Assignments already needing to be done for my research methods and philosphy of science course. Not that I mind the work, but it doesn't help when you don't understand the first reading that is required. It's something to do with mice and cubes, thing is I can't figure out whether the mice have a critical role in the whole experiment or if the inadiment cubes move...ahh, wecome back to the real life of school. Field school was too good to be true. How I wish that school was more like field school, hands on and interactive. I learned so much more in the four months than I did in the previous three years. Yes all of the information that I learned built up on for the course, but I still think that academics need to be more hands on.

I honestly think that people learn so, so much better by applying the material that they are learning rather than theoretically learning it. Perhaps this is why I love forestry so much, most of the things we learn are hands on. More importantly though, all of the learning that I have been doing can lead directly into a job. I'm so glad that I was never inclined to go into science or arts. I mean, you HAVE to get a master's degree to actually do something!

Christmas '05

Christmas 2005 will go down as the Christmas that never really happened. The family and I made the trip to LA and San Fransisco. Spent Christmas in a hotel room and ate a pulled pork sandwich for the dinner. Perhaps not the most traditional Christmas one would think of, but it was definately a fun trip. All I can say is thank God for portable DVD players.

Three days at Disneyland confirmed one thing. I am definately one who need his space. It was absolutely chaotic. So many people that you had to "dodge, dip, dive, duck, and dodge" all of the people, and more specifically the strollers. Who would bring stroller bound kids to Disneyland!? Are the really going to remember a single thing? Somehow I think not.

Anyways, the picture to the right is one taken on a beach near Malibu. Too cold for the "barbies" to come out but it did look like a scence from baywatch, minus the girls. Anyways, I hope all had a most excellent Christmas!

God Bless!