New Beginnings

So I thought that it might be a great idea to actually start using this blog. Ok, so that's not really the reason, but it was about time that I actually start putting some stuff in here for me to look back on. Haha, sounds a little bit pessimistic but really there isn't all that many people that check out this blog site.

So today began a new chapter in the story that is my life. Specifially my fianceé (just learned that it was two "e's" today) has left for Sweden for four and half months on academic exchange. I don't think that I can adequately express how happy I am for her. This is a major step for her, but I know that there will be a lot of things that she will learn and grow in. I'm just glad that she listened to me and booked hostels beforegetting to London. Knowing where you are going to stay before getting off of the plane is such a nice thing. I'm certainly glad that I did it when I went to Ecuador. I think that this time will also be good for me. Time to focus on getting a job that is related to what I studied at UBC, and just getting settled down into a career.

Careers. Now there is one aspect of life that is freaky. Not so much the idea of having a "real" job, but more so the time when you don't actually has a job. Take right now, I'm unemployed, I have quite a few bills that I have to pay each month, and the EI that I am getting isn't really all that much. That goodness for knowing that God is there to take care of me. As much as I struggle with personal issues and doubts there is something in knowing that I am being taken care of.

I hope that in the next few months (month?) I will be able to post something here talking about my new "perfect" job!

Happy New Year

So this is the new year. It already seems that this is going to be yet another big year with a lot of changes and growth. Some of the obvious changes is that Carleigh will be in Sweden for the next 4 months, it will great for her, and I am excited to see how she will change and grow as a result of this time away. For me, it will be a a time of change and growth as I work on looking for a job and begin really starting my life. Some may say that the transition to university is the most difficult, I'm beginning to find that for an introvert, finding a job post-university in beginning to be rather difficult. I know that there is something out there for me, its just a matter of finding the job.

So the interesting part will be the steps/gambles that I am going to have to take in the next month or two to secure a job. Its easy to fall behind when your in a secure/stable place in life, so a little pressure might be something that I need to find the job that I need!

From Ecuador Pictures

From Ecuador Pictures

From Ecuador Pictures

A couple of photos that help to describe the past six weeks of my life. What an amazing time, not only in the fact that I was able to experience so much, but also for the fact that I was able to experience so much as a person. Seeing how the people of Ecuador live and being able to put myself in situations that are difficult has grown me into some one that is much more confident of who I am...by no means have I reached the final point of the journey, but it is so freeing to see that God has begun a change in my heart and in the walls that I have put in my life. So cool!

When He said I was free, He ment I was FREE

Here's a thought that I had the other day. Verses first, then the thought...

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

1 Corinthians 6: 19-20

For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.

1 Corinthians 7: 22-23

Both passages were pulled from the NIV. The significance of these two passages has to do with the idea of a ransom. Now, obviously a ransom is a sum a money to pay for the freedom of someone. Let that sink a little bit, a ransom is a sum a money to pay for the freedom of someone. I got to thinking about what God did for us, what Jesus did for us. Jesus paid our ransom! Maybe this seems significant for me in the fact that so many times I choose to live in captivity, I choose to stay with Satan, my kidnapper, rather than running home to my Father.

This idea is profound for me in the thought that with all the areas in my life that I struggle with, there is a simple fact that I do not have to live in bondage to the sin that afflicts me, the price of that sin has been already paid for. It seems that somehow the dillusion of the time that I have spent in captivity has somehow over powered the truth that I am already free, that I can walk away from being consumed by the struggle and begin my walk home to the Father. Incredible!

There we go...my brainstorm for the week.

The Battle and the Death

This weekend was spent in Clearwater at their inaugural 'Great Canadian Music Explosion', not a bad idea, but given that it was the first it made for some rather slow moments. I don't think that I have ever sat as much as I did this weekend.

What this weekend did allow for was some quality time reading John Eldridge's Wild at Heart for the second time. It was a good opportunity to reevaluate my progress and pick up some more 'nuggets' (really good definition of nuggets here) regarding the battle over my own struggles and such. There were a couple of things that really stood out for me. The first was a simple line in the book, and yet has such a huge implication in the deeper meaning... 'every man is a warrior inside. But the choice to fight is his own'. I think that this struck me so much in the fact that I so often choose not to battle the struggles that I have. I choose not to 'step up to the plate' on so many occasions, and have settled for comfortability rather than delighting in the struggle of a situation to fully develop my faith. Through this line and some of the other points made in the book, I began to think of Band of Brothers a book by Steve Ambrose and made into a HBO series by Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks. The part that stood out from this movie is a seasoned veteran telling a new recruit to come to terms with the fact that in essence, he is already dead, to get over the fear and accept the reality of the situation. This small portion of the movie had such a significant impact on my thoughts. Think about it... in essence we are the walking dead. We have eternal life through the salvation of Jesus Christ, we will continue on long after the flesh passes away! Why then should we fear the world's condemnation? Why should we fear the battles and the struggles that God allows to come before us? To gain life, should we not be willing to lose it? A thought:

You're already dead; accept it, then seek a life lived in a spirit of furious indifference to it; you must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine (Wild at Heart with some personal additions)

Courage, and the willingness to choose to fight the battles that will ultimately shape us into stronger men, comes from being willing to die. To put your life, your reputation, your comforts on the line! To allow GOD to fill every part of your being and to submit to his most awesome plan!

A final verse of encouragement:

Since Jesus went through everything that you're going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you will be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want. (1 Peter 4:1-2 The Message //Remix)

BOLDNESS in Christ

And the special gift of ministry you received when I laid hands on you and prayed - keep that ablaze! God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.
So don't be embarrassed to speak up for our master or for me, his prisoner. Take your share of suffering for the Message along with the rest of us.

02 Timothy 1 :6-8 (The Message)

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life, —not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.

02 Timothy 1:6-9a (NIV)

So, this passage spoke to me last night. Particularly the part about being BOLD and that we have not been given a spirit of timidity, but of boldness. What an amazing statement. God is calling us to be bold, to stand and speak the truth. So often I find it easy, comfortable, safe, to not boldly stand for what I believe, to not boldly stand for the ultimate truth. So often I am worried about upsetting someone or offending them that I slink away and not outwardly tell them what God wants them to hear.

And here's my revelation. We are called to be God's messengers. The vessels in which the Word of God is spread. I don't think messengers are allowed to be timid. Think of medieval times where the king would send a mesage to an opposing force. That message has to be delivered. The declaration of war has to be delivered to the opposing force for them to know that this is their last chance before being utterly annihilated. This messenger must covey the message at all costs. I wonder are we, am I, truely committed to being that messenger? Are we willing to convey God's message no matter the consequence? I know that this is something that speaks closely to my heart. Am I willing to convey the message no matter the cost? Hmm...food for thought.

Decisions...

I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 16:8-11 (TNIV)

This was an interesting passage to read, largely because of the part in bold. You make known to me the path of life. Interesting to think of, God does make known to us the path of life that we need to be taking. The question is, are we (a) listening and (b) willing to walk the path that God is telling us. I know that this is something that I certainly struggle with. Greatly because it requires ME to make the initial step, to step out in faith that this is the path that God wants me to take. Certainly not easy. My biggest struggle is with stepping out and making the decision to follow the path that is before me. I have been so conditioned to allow others to make the decisions for me. Sure I have made decisions for myself. But in many ways these seem like pseudodecisions. Now obviously not all decisions fall under the 'pseudodecision' category...choosing to follow Christ is definitely NOT a pseudodecision. But many others have been. Take for example my choice to attend (and graduate) university. Did I really have much of a choice in the matter? Not really with both societal pressure and parental pressures to attend.

The times that I have made a decision have always seemed to be followed with a deluge of doubt, fears and uncertainty as to whether it was the right decision...whether it was what God truely wanted me to do. And often I have no clue as to whether the decision is what God would have wanted me to make. At the end of the day I guess that I have to trust that the path that I am following does have an ultimate purpose in the grand painting that God has begun in me. Still doesn't make it any easier.

Am I willing to listen? Am I willing to put into practice that in which I've heard? I'd like to say confidently 'yes' to each of these questions, but the reality of it is, often I may not say yes, or I may drag my feet ressiting the will to say yes to God and no to my own personal ambitions and desires. I understand that my ambitions, my desires are important but I have a hard time recognising that the desires and ambitions that God has in store for me far outweigh anything that I could ever dream of. What I think is amazing now, will be so much more amazing in the future if I could just allow God to do his will. Ack! Throw away my brain, I'd do so much better!

The World's Fastest Indian

Ok, what a cool movie. 'The World's Fastest Indian'. I had heard some good things about this movie, but had never had the opportunity to see it. Well I'm glad that I have. So yes, at times it was a little cheesy, but put speed and motorcycles together...what guy can resist?